Lost Alone Wandering The Streets Again

mylastdesire @ 2007-02-27T22:32:00

2007-02-28T03:32:48Z

ive decided..
im gonna really learn to play the blues
and start a blues band
very Chris Batten-ish

this weekend was incredible
birthday ball was fun!
sleeping next to leslie was the greatest.

possible word on getting a house for next year with some amazing shu friends (mike and sarah)
ive been using this alot more recently
it makes me feel better

"take the long way home to keep us from retreat"

mylastdesire @ 2007-02-17T01:37:00

2007-02-17T06:37:22Z

i just want this week to be over already.
fuck.

please come home

the world around me makes me sick

and your the only one that changes that

hey there blue eyes

you took me by surprise

mylastdesire @ 2007-01-30T22:18:00

2007-01-31T03:18:40Z

for the past 2 weeks, ive lived in a constant state of melancholy.
my life has become a series of routines.
class work station
work class station
something along those lines every day
im burnt out
sick as a dog
im missing leslie
and im lonely as fuck
i know i have my friends to talk to
but i cant open up anymore
and its eating me alive

its times like this i really need my father.

oh yeah... happy belated new year

this was inspired by the link below

2006-12-07T23:25:49Z

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: MaritsaD
MaritsaD: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: whatup whatuppp
You: i want to learn how to be more gangsta
You: that way all the whiteys wont hate
You: any advice for a white brotha?
MaritsaD: Vanilla ice
MaritsaD: Learn his ways
You: pshhh... if this playa wants to be hung by his ankles
You: i wanna be like hova
You: do you back that thang up ista?
You: sista*
MaritsaD: Juvenile?
You: word
You: girl you look good
You: thats a question btw
MaritsaD: Nah
You: a/s/l?
MaritsaD: 19/f/Ny
MaritsaD: Till we meet again love
MaritsaD: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXXe7LvAcbY

just like jeff... fun with chacha.com

2006-12-07T17:25:54Z

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: SandraD
SandraD: Welcome to ChaCha!
SandraD: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: hey hey
SandraD: Hi
You: you remember that song?
SandraD: What can I help you search for ?
SandraD: Yes
You: i need to find the meaning of it, in a socilogical context
You: if not
You: i fail out of school
SandraD: ok, you need to do a search on Songs meanings
SandraD: click on done here and start a new search
You: the subject is minority slang and why songs such as this are made
SandraD: that way it keeps our categories clean
You: why cant you help me?
You: i got in some trouble with my dean
You: a person was playing that song
You: and i kind of um...
You: blacked out on them
You: ...now theyre charging with me with agrivated assualt
You: so to push my buttons i have to write a 40 page thesis on that
You: and im stuck
SandraD: on what
SandraD: "back that thang up"
You: basically
SandraD: you need the slang term definition for it?
You: it was orignially that a$$ up, but i dont want to get in more trouble
You: basically
You: sheesh why cant people just speak in plain english..
SandraD: ok, I am going to transfer you to someone that can help you.
SandraD: Please hold
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Guide not located.

mylastdesire @ 2006-11-14T22:39:00

2006-11-15T03:39:19Z

my life has changed drastically in the past 3 months.
i lost my father
me and liz are no longer together
my grandmothers are both very ill

but ive become much closer with myself, and my closest friends, and that is an accomplishment

mylastdesire @ 2006-09-20T11:42:00

2006-09-20T15:42:42Z

and it came to me then
that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time
as i stared at my shoes in the ICU
that reeked of piss and 409
and i rationed my breaths as i said to myself
that i'd already taken too much today
as each descending peep on the LCD
took you a little farther away from me
away from me

amongst the vending machines and year old magazines
in a place where we only say goodbye
it's done like a violent wind that our memories depend
on a faulty camera in our minds
and i knew that you were a truth
i would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all
and i looked around at all the eyes on the ground
as the tv entertained itself
cos there's no comfort in the waiting room
just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
then the nurse comes round and everyone lifts their head
but i'm thinking of what sarah said,
that love is watching someone die

Damn... its been a year... miss you grandpa =(

but on a lighter note... ive been sick for the past week but im feeling better now
got back on track with school
got back on track with station duty
but i never see Liz =(
BUT ILL SEE HER THIS WEEKEND at my cousin mannys wedding... open bar portugese weddings = a not so sober me
i looked in the mirror today and noticed my stomach wasn't sticking out out like the huge blob it has been for a while... aka im losing weight.
Steady diets really do work ^_^
now to take advantage of that... i gotta start going to a gym. im gonna try to hit dad up to join gold medal in garwood, or la fitness in piscataway... or hell even the westfield Ymca.
oh yea and a week ago, i shaved off my beard.

mylastdesire @ 2006-09-05T01:21:00

2006-09-05T05:21:21Z

cant sleep...
im anxious... a clean slate for school is always the best feeling.

i think im slowly finding myself and its about damn time.
i have a few goals for this school... mainly with my physical appearance, and attitude.

but heres a short few...
drop 20 lb's
re-style my wardrobe
straight A's
become a better musician/lyricist/singer
spread my time more evenly instead of just one solid place
become a better and more solid dj
play a few open mic nights
record finally and finish this damn studio project

in other news... getting your wisdom teeth pulled sucks hardcore
Dave Melillo... not the best song writer, but is chock full of talent, did such an amazing cover of It aint me babe by bob dylan... this is old news, but it just hit me now how good the cover is... it really put a new meaning to the song.

i think im going to use this thing alot more.

oh yea the crocodile hunter died, that sucks.
welcome back school year.

mylastdesire @ 2006-07-03T23:08:00

2006-07-04T03:08:14Z

this is my first time updating in forever...
im in the middle of the atlantic ocean on my way to st. maarten.
this vacation has been phenomonal so far, yet a little boring.
i havent met people yet, which is odd for me. so tonight i will make an extra effort when im in the casino to introduce myself to people of a similar age range...

its so tough though, i have not a clue who would be in my age, cause i think everyone i see looks so much younger, or could be so much younger.

the who's teenage wasteland has been running through my head for about 4 days straight now, and i feel it is a perfect definition of where i am in my life now

i have to say though, drinking with my dad... is awkward but amazing again in that sense of growing.

enough of ranting...
i miss everyone at home, and my friends from shu so much.

mylastdesire @ 2006-04-18T16:13:00

2006-04-18T20:13:43Z

HOLY SHITNUTS!
I am interviewing Thursday AGAIN (by request from the band) TMMW AT 2!!!!!!!

this is big for me... VERY BIG.

elections are on thursday... im scared shitless

i was up sick all last night which sucked.

and i got my new cool laptop today, which is cool

all in all, today was hectic, and now im in the most awful class possible

mylastdesire @ 2006-04-17T22:46:00

2006-04-18T02:46:39Z

Create your own Music List @ HotFreeLayouts!

mylastdesire @ 2006-04-15T03:51:00

2006-04-15T07:51:33Z

This evening after my DJ shift, i drove home very slowly.
it was very foggy, but still somewhat warm.
I turned on "sometimes" by My Bloody Valentine.
and I have to say, it was the first time I've felt calm in a long time.
I felt like my grandfather was sitting next to me while i was smoking a cigarette,
and even though I couldnt see what was in front of me...
I knew everything was going to be fine.

ok so besides from that, life = hectic but good because the election process has started.
BUT I DID GET A NEW GUITAR!
its another telecaster and i love it.
fin.

mylastdesire @ 2006-03-20T12:31:00

2006-03-20T17:31:36Z

i think over the easter break we have...pending the weather... im going to invite a few of friends over so me to cook some type of cool dinner... possibly poker afterwards. im thinking that awesome cajun chicken pasta shit me and liz made this weekend.

CHEF JUSTIN IN THE HOUSE!

this was a pretty kick ass weekend/week
liz basically lived with me for the week, and i loved it
we're going on a year, which is NUTS

we cooked this weekend,
this week we made cookies
and what else...
i have no idea what else, but ill think of something later

i hate this class im in right now, but ill survive.
sopranos and big love = the awesome stuff

wow

2006-03-06T02:20:53Z

About last night... to anyone that I was with... I AM REALLY sorry about the
mess i made...please pass the word around, thank you to everyone who basically
helped me out. you all rock.

anyways besides from that mess of a night,
where i got extremely sick, and ruined a potentially good night, Today was
better!
Woke up with miss lizz getting into my bed <333333
was crazy
hyper this morning
went out with her and joe to target, and menlo park
mall
got 2 polo shirts from old navy (2 for 25!)
then we went back to joes
and watched walk the line
now liz is in the shower, and im going to go dj
from 8 - 10
its my spring break

and i cant wait to see everyone from
last night again, to give my apologies in person.</p></div>

mylastdesire @ 2006-03-05T14:25:00

2006-02-25T19:23:49Z

Tonight... I will be seeing Penfold re-unite one final time, at a place i used to consider home. Could it get any better? Not only am I seeing perhaps my absolute favorite band of all time, a band that changed my life, my view of music, my view of lyrics, my view of society, my view of relationships, and my view of love, but I will be sharing the moment with people who mean alot to me, people who feel the same way about this band as me.

I hate shows. I despise going to them, I hate the crowd, I hate the enviornment... I guess i got spoiled by the good times, because shows have lost their touch to me. But this is something completly different. This might be the spark I really needed to get me started. An emotional breakthrough perhaps of the most beautiful music on the face of the Earth.

Recap.
- Last friday a car slammed into the side of Guitar Center, nearly minutes after I had a smoke break... in the very same spot.
- I Judged the bamboozle battle of the bands that sucked ass, but got paid 125 bucks to do it.
- I made 3 connections in the past week for future job opportunities. Those being, The Aquairian, WRAT, and Music Choice... & possibly Jive Records if I can get in touch with Michelle (Wsou alumni who works there that I met briefly last night).
- I got the Rent DVD, and have watched it multiple times since Wednesday, and have no plans on not continuing this patter.
- Ms. Lizz makes me very happy =)
- I got new sneakers, and new pants finally.
- My stomach is being eaten alive by Baja Fresh, thanks to Greg and Mannys obsession of us going EVERY tuesday and thursday.
- In the world of music... I've suddenly realized... all good bands, are either forming, haven't written anything in the past two years, or have broken up... the rest just fucking suck. Its a sad thing, when I see in Alternative Press, the magazine I depend on exposure to new bands, and every single band is compared to My Chemical Romance, AFI, and Green Day. Whatever happened to the days when Chris and I would bump into Gerard and Frankie & shoot the shit, and they just didnt give a fuck about being in unison. Frankie had fucking dreads, and Gerard was obsessed with silk cowboy shirts, and Jackolanterns. My Chemical Romance is not My Chem anymore. I realized how much I really fucking despise their last album recently. I am sick of the same shit over and over again.
- My friendship with alot of people has been recovered. I'm glad Mike, Rocky, Anthony, are all somewhat part of my life again. I missed that crowd.
- Miss Lizz, still makes me very happy =)
- I need a band.

For now that should be enough.
Wildwood is going to be amazing.
MY vacation in June is gonna be wonderful.
My summer is going to be phenomonal
I can finally say... Life is starting to balance again.
I just need to really focus, and not get so distracted and balance life and school better
then Im set.

mylastdesire @ 2006-02-14T14:06:00

2006-02-14T19:06:48Z

AFoxInTheDark: i mean i think i lost my mind.
AFoxInTheDark: http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e104/afoxinthedark/Picture015.jpg
PopulaceInThree: what in the fuck
AFoxInTheDark: i told you
AFoxInTheDark: i lost my mind.
AFoxInTheDark: my name is now theo
AFoxInTheDark: and i am a kitty
PopulaceInThree: your scaring me

mylastdesire @ 2006-02-09T13:44:00

2006-02-09T18:44:38Z

new demo up! www.myspace.com/catchthesky

3:26am is where it starts

2006-02-07T03:21:34Z

i think im on the verge of a musical breakthrough.
my album when done, is gonna be a concept.
its gonna be 24 hours in the life of a person who has this almost "picture perfect life", but he's mentally wearing away.
it will start off in a slow manner, and pick up where his "day" starts...

ive written 2 songs in a matter of days... i havent written a song in about a year.
this is it.
now i just need my studio gear to work and get some mics $%$%^$%^&!@$
if anyone has stuff they can lend me to record... that would rule.
any musicians who want to help... even better
any writers who want to help put this story together with me... much appreciated.

mylastdesire @ 2006-02-02T11:39:00

2006-02-02T16:39:07Z

OMG
penfold is having a reunion.
i think i just shit a brick.
FIN

mylastdesire @ 2006-01-25T15:11:00

2006-01-25T20:09:55Z

holy crap. im obsessing over this new(er) runaway orange song.

hope they win that bon jovi contest (which you should vote for them www.wplj.com)

i know the last entry was really depressing... but im glad i got that out there.
time to act on that... everyone let me know when your around so we can all plan something HUGE!
give me details on whats going on!
that very well includes Chris, Kelsey, Dana, Katie, Colin, Sean (oh god yous a sexy bearded man haha), Kristy, Jenn, and whomever else lives in my general area.

Somedays..

2006-01-24T03:41:57Z

Sometimes... i just want to put the world on pause.
Just look around at everything, and examine what makes us tick.

Its only been 2 weeks into the semester.
I desperatley need a vacation already. Where am I going with myself right now?
I guess looking at how I've basically dissapeared off the face of the earth realizing... I haven't hung out with about 90% of my best friends on the face of the earth in ages because I've let everything school related take over. There's that void comming back in my mind... it tends to come around November usually. Well its 2 months late, but surley it came. I dont know... I miss high school, well not high school.. but that atmosphere. The freedom idea. The everyday is a sunny day vibe... not the Justins become a work-a-holic. I think my friends think my ego has exploded... If it did then thats some hell of an ego... I hide from life. And not even in the person sense. The social atmosphere I essentially created years ago, has basically phased me out. I'm not complaining because its my own fault. But its come to that point of... where is everyone? Shit its been over a month since I've seen Chris who 3 years ago, I couldn't imagine spending a day without. Joe's in Boston, and theres obviously nothing I can do about that. Is it that we arent a band anymore thats almost naturally ostricised me out of the loop? But that can't be it? I used to spend so much time with Rocky, Mike, Chrissie, Lauren, and that whole crowd. I put my stupid differences aside with everyone, yet I still lack contact with them, and its on both sides... Is there something wrong with me? or is it the world?

I desperatly need a week of just pure friends. If I could have my way, I would have everyone of my friends from home all just cluster into 1 beach house and just have it be the way it used to be. Getting older is the hardest thing to cope with especially when you thought you were ready, but only came to find the rude awakening that you arent.

How can I give advice to someone and say "High school is that period of time where you get whats left of being a kid out of you, and college is the time where you start to establish the relationships that will last you the rest of your life, and you put all the bullshit behind you" but not be able to maintain those relationships 100% that have been there my whole life... honestly the only friend that I've had that has never left me since birth is Alyssa, and I barely even speak to her.

If I didn't have liz to keep me up right now... I think my parents would have committed me by now, and/or I would have had multiple nervous breakdowns.

I need to write an album about this.
I need to get my shit together.
I need to put the puzzle of life as I know it back together immediatly.

Edit::
I want my life to feel like that point in time where you can pop a cd into a player, and just let it perfectly in the most posotive way describe your life at the time. Like an Old blink 182 album... or Something poppy along those lines... that feeling when you open the cd case and just let it take you away. for some reason that reminds me of the color orange, and yellow. (just a random thought)

ouch

2006-01-01T17:11:56Z

ok... its been a very long time... so happy new year first and foremost.
i am in incredible amounts of pain as my liver is screaming WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME LAST NIGHT?!
i will say. steve and katie mack throw one hell of a party. definatly getting to know them better for the new year. gotta dj tonight. its gonna be fun. just a recap of last night. went to aarons saw a bunch of people i havent seen in a long time. bought a bottle of fake baileys. we left there, went to katies house immediatley started drinking. drank that whole bottle basically. lots of jello shots, did peppermint and kamakazie shots. pong. and those wine in a box things i chugged down half of one of those practically. thank you liz for not killing me. thank you steve, and johnny for helping me down stairs. and thanks to everyone for having a great time. and lauren and i need to hang out more.
fin.

mylastdesire @ 2005-11-10T08:50:00

2005-11-10T13:50:46Z

BadNewsTreebo: i got arrested for assualt
PopulaceInThree: and i killed a guy with a trident

hey buddy i swear we miss you down here... where'd you go? where'd you go?

2005-11-10T13:15:47Z

i havent updated in a serious matter in a long time.
life is good, but busy
i'm a dj now at wsou.
its almost so surreal. its something i have wanted since i was a little kid.
and now here i am, finally living out something i've dreamed of for ages.
but sum it up... its pretty fuckin cool.

i woke up this morning ahead of schedule... it was weird, usually when i have my 8am class im usually ready to kill the first living thing i see
but, i woke up so perky, and in such a great mood. last night was pretty fucking awesome (<33) so i guess that explains it =)

people in my life pretty much fucking rule to no end.

i just have no room in my life to complain... shits fucking great.

supposedly a brookside reunion soon? i dont know how i feel about that.
i'd rather just start from scratch. me chris joe cesar and bring r2thaizay into that shit.

what makes my perkyness so odd, is that im listening to shit thats depressing as shit.

since my grandfather died, my mood has basically been half ass... but i feel myself really starting to look up, because i can accept the fact that he passed.
but i have my friends and they keep me up, and it makes life so much more enjoyable

now if i could only find a job that will pay me $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ (lots of bills)

woo!

2005-10-05T03:30:20Z

TooDarktoLand: hawt muffinanies.
PopulaceInThree: yo
PopulaceInThree: im gonna tattoo on the inside of my eyelids "STRAIGHT - EDGE"
PopulaceInThree: and "FOREVER" on my ass crack
PopulaceInThree: and "FRIENDS ONLY" on my taint
PopulaceInThree: and it will be so toughxchickenxcore
PopulaceInThree: JIVE TURKEY
TooDarktoLand: oh yeah?
TooDarktoLand: well im going to tattoo "this is the culmination of my being" on my back,
TooDarktoLand: then tattoo "slippery slide" on my taint,
PopulaceInThree: that.. was uncalled for
PopulaceInThree: ::points::
TooDarktoLand: AY
TooDarktoLand: YOU KNOCK THAT OFF
TooDarktoLand: EH
TooDarktoLand: EH!
PopulaceInThree: WHAT